BDSM Erotica for the Big Scree

Naughty schoolgirls

Having roundly dissed the CP spanking erotica of yore, it’s now time to celebrate one of the current crop of innovative and ambitious producers of the genre – Sarah Gregory.

Of course all cinema and theatre involves a certain suspension of disbelief, but you can’t help remembering, when watching a naughty ‘schoolgirl’ being disciplined by a strict teacher, that it’s really an anonymous office somewhere and that there are probably only half a dozen people in the building, including the production crew. Yes, it’s supposed to be a school – but do you think we’ve got the budget for all of those actors?

Well, sometimes people do have significant budgets which they’re not afraid to spend.

Road Trip bannerRoad Trip – something of a spanking classic

In the past, I’ve seen some fabulous feature length spanking movies from Real Spankings. ‘Road Trip’ and ‘Maid for Punishment’ were particular favourites of mine.

Maid for Punishment posterMaids and spanking – and lethal cocktail

They broke out of the 10, 20 or 30 minute cell and really let the plot and action develop. Multiple players, multiple spankings, multiple and myriad fun and games.

Such undertakings are obviously incredibly costly, consume vast resources and need to be able to pay their way once uploaded to the producer’s website.

It rather explains why there is so little of this quality and length of material around.

Nonetheless, some people are prepared to take the risk or have extremely wealthy backers who don’t mind funding such a huge undertaking.

Sarah has developed her Strictmoor Academy movies – which frankly deserve their own slot on Netflix.

Period eroticaPeriod erotic drama at its best

These are period movies (late fifties/early sixties) set in a New England educational institution for young ladies (19 and older) whose parents think they are too wayward and want their behaviour corrected.

All of the movies are available on Sarah’s site but they also have their own Strictmoor Academy home, to save you rifling through all of the clips uploaded to the main SGS website.

The setting looks authentic – I assume a Victorian or Edwardian house somewhere in the north eastern United States.

Classroom sceneGirls are usually spanked in front of their peers

The girls – and there are usually a good half a dozen or more – are the cream of the crop (pun intended), and the mature female Dommes (teachers and house mothers) play their parts to perfection. Everyone is ‘in character’and everyone is 100% credible.

Girls awaiting punishmentAttention to detail is absolute

Uniforms are exactly that – every girl is dressed in identical kit, right down to their socks and knickers. So many low-budget spanking films that involve more than one ‘schoolgirl’ suffer from having the girls turn up with slightly different uniforms.

Here the young ladies are contrite, deferential and resigned to their fate – they know the knickers will come down and their bottoms will be on display while they are soundly spanked, slippered and paddled.

I confess, I haven’t seen every minute of every movie, but I don’t believe I have yet seen anyone being caned. Maybe that’s for a future production?

The girls are usually disciplined in the classroom (in front of each other of course), in the office of one of the staff and at bedtime – because a spanking during the day means another spanking at bedtime.

Spanked in pyjamasSpanking in the day means a spanking at bedtime

This means we have multiple opportunities to see the girls baring their bottoms or showing their knickers, kicking their legs frantically as their creamy behinds turn from pale pink to deep crimson.

As an aside, I think there is a slight cultural difference between the UK and the US when it comes to spanking. American girls seem to let rip with their protests from the get go; I have the impression that British girls will try to maintain a certain stiff upper lip until the pain and humiliation get the better of them, and they, too, end up wailing and blubbering.

The Strictmoor films seem to place as much emphasis on spanking thighs as bottoms: a thigh spanking will be given separately, for example while the girl is being made to read aloud a poem from the board that she should have memorised.

I’ve never tried to consume a Strictmoor film from beginning to end as a complete whole. I suspect that if I did it would appear to be more episodic than continuous. Each scene is released separately on SGS – so perhaps Sarah intends for her viewers to consume these cinematic gems in smaller chunks.

Unlike the RS feature length films, I’m not sure there’s quite enough plot to stitch these episodes together. However, this is a minor criticism when set against the sheer scale of what Sarah has managed to pull off with her Strictmoor franchise.

For a future movie – and again I’m being super picky – I might be tempted to vary the punishment from one girl to the next – more reacting to how they are taking their punishment rather than insisting that each girl gets exactly the same. This, after all, mirrors real life: some schoolgirls are more bratty than others; some take the punishment quietly while others curse like troopers.

I would also love to see some mildly sexual humiliation: perhaps some rectal thermometer readings, some compulsory shaving of pudendae and so on.

Awaiting punishment
The films feel almost creepily authentic

Maybe some of the girls comforting each other ‘after lights out’ following a particularly hard day’s punishment?

Of course they would get caught, and of course, there would be consequences.

Strictmoor movies are exquisitely authentic, extremely well acted and obviously very meticulously thought through. I suspect that as Sarah and her fiancé develop this project, it will only get better.

Nostalgia – it’s not what it used to be

Girl bending over

Back in the bad old days of CP movies – and I still remember visiting shops in Soho, London and buying a really bad copy of a ten minute movie on VHS for the princely sum of £50 – it was all very formulaic.

A young female, dressed in school uniform (although the skirt was always ridiculously and appealingly short), would enter a spartan room and wait nervously. An older adult, usually male, would then enter and admonish her for some minor infraction of the school rules. She would then go over his knee or over the desk and be spanked over her minuscule skirt.

Girl being spanked
Bottoms up

After a while, said skirt would get lifted (to howls of protest) and she would be spanked over her school knickers, although there was a possible variation at this point when the knickers were declared “not regulation” and some extra swats would be added.

Eventually the knickers would come down (usually just the top of the thighs) and she would be spanked and then strapped, paddled or caned ‘on the bare’.

The tearful miscreant would then be dispatched to the corner – skirt up, knickers down – to contemplate her misdemeanours while the camera would zoom in on her blushing posterior, sometimes with a cutaway to her tearful face.

Skirt up knickers down
Another punishment ends

End of movie.

There was always the added excitement of having to wait hours for a clip to download over a dial-up connection and the low resolution image that would flicker across one’s screen; this added to the overall clandestine and illicit nature of indulging one’s kink.

Some producers (and I will refrain from naming names to protect the guilty) would even run the footage from the second camera in a pathetic attempt to lengthen the movie and have you believe that this was an entirely new set of swats. You knew it was the second camera because the white balance was completely different from camera one.

The technical quality was usually beyond the control of the production house, but the lack of creativity certainly was not. It was shockingly bad – and showed nothing but contempt for the audience.

Now, I know there were studios that were producing better material than this – Real Spankings and Strictly English for example – but your run-of-the-mill spanking movie generally had all the charm of a wet November afternoon.

Pandora / Blake
Pandora / Blake helped reinvent the genre

Thankfully, eventually, the sun came out: not only was HD video out there as the default standard (1080p and them 4K) but connection speeds got faster and faster meaning that streaming video became the norm.

At the same time trailblazing producers – and here the lovely Pandora / Blake springs to mind – were reinventing the genre. Feminist porn, high production values, movies with an actual plot or a proper theme, models who obviously engaged and were excited by the reinvention of spanking erotica.

Alex Reynolds and Christy Cutie
Alex Reynolds experimenting with age play

Pandora – via her Dreams of Spanking site – introduced me to the whole swathes of really great performers: Ariel Anderssen, Molly Malone, Zoe Montana and then some like-minded American performers like Alex Reynolds, Maddy Marks, Christy Cutie and Sarah Gregory.

Ariel Anderssen spanked by Pandora / Blake
The statuesque Ariel Anderssen spanked by Pandora / Blake

Social media made it easier to engage directly with performers and producers, give them feedback on their excellent work and find out which spanking conventions they would be attending.

I was particularly impressed with Alex Reynolds – not just her amazing, curvy body but also her clever, edgy writing and her obvious enjoyment of the scene.

A couple of years back we even had a play date on one of her trips to the UK. Suffice it to say, I wasn’t disappointed!

This post set out to be a review of a particular set of films about Strictmoor Academy – very authentic, period drama-type films that feature multiple actors in an authentic, academic institutional environment in new England in the late 1950s/early 60s. However, the preamble has gone on for so long that this post will have to stand as it is.

In my next post, I will describe the delights of Strictmoor, and congratulate the production team on a job extremely well done.

Naturally, they get a little cross when people steal their material – having spent countless hours and dollars bringing it to fruition.

There really is no excuse for stealing porn – most of us can afford the modest sums asked to subscribe to various websites. And if you, like me, value the quality of CP erotica, you must realise that you can’t get something for nothing.

One thing that still does irk me a little though is when production houses try to strand their content into various themes (schoolgirl, cheerleader, girl next door and so on) in order to make you subscribe to individual streams; i’d much rather be asked for more money to have access to everything they produce.

That’s one hangover from the bad old days that should be buried with the uninspiring, formulaic old movies.

 Strictmoor cast
Strictmoor productions are lavish affairs

Sacred Crease

Lady’s bottom in brief bikiniToday I want to pay homage to that beautiful horizontal crease twixt thigh and the downward slope of the buttock: it’s called the gluteal sulcus, and every time I get sight of it, it sends me spinning into a thousand erotic fantasies.

Bottom with spanking mark
It’s not just about the bottom or the thighs, it’s where they meet

For us spankers, it’s not just a visual delight it’s actually (or should be) the very object of our desire.

This area is actually known as the ‘sit sport’ or ‘sweetspot’ of your submissive’s beautiful bottom: some well aimed hand, paddle, crop or cane strikes in this area will have your loved one thinking about their misdemeanours every time they sit down for the next few days.Spanking zones

It is worth paying very close attention when spanking to ensure that this area gets more than its fair share of attention.

It’s the little crease that is so beautifully displayed when looking at your sub’s bottom.

Female button wearing knickers
That’s it – right there!

Boyshorts finish well above this line so you can indulge in some sweet spot spanking even with knickers in place. Even full-back knickers will leave the gluteal sulcus exposed and allow you to work away, unhindered and unprotected by the usually flimsy fabric of a pair of knickers.

Knickered bottom
The sit spot is fully displayed

Pull those knickers down though – perhaps to top or mid thigh – and you will find the little crease framed and ready for your attention.

Spanking over knickersKnickers down

Knickers up or down, the sit spot is vulnerable

Stockings, too, draw attention to the sulcus: perhaps better to have her wear hold-ups rather than what we in the UK call ‘suspenders’ and our American friends call ‘garters’. After all, it wouldn’t do to damage a perfectly good suspender belt.

White knickers & socks

As I write, I’m looking forward to an afternoon in which my baby girl will have to atone for her behaviour in the last week. She will be wearing a T-shirt, simple, white, cotton knickers and a pair of kneelength white socks. That’s all it will take to set my desire aflame.

Friday is a good day for end of the week reviews and reckonings: we can then start the weekend with a clean slate and a well spanked bottom; this will be a reminder not to misbehave in the week ahead.

Have a spanking good weekend y’all ❣️

Accessorise – Putting the Finishing Touches to the Adult Schoolgirl Ensemble

Adult Schoolgirl
When it comes to blouses, keep it simple

Having considered in some considerable detail socks, skirts and, most importantly, knickers, we now need to complete our ideal adult schoolgirl outfit.

As I’ve already said, the outfit needs to be believable but a slight exaggeration of a real school uniform. So when we come to blouses or shirts, these need to be credible. A normal, button-down shirt or a short-sleeved plain white shirt will do very nicely. It should be tucked into the skirt and not flapping around, looking sloppy.

Adult schoolgirl
Unbelievably skimpy
Adult schoolgirl
Stretching credibility

I reject out of hand the cartoon schoolgirl outfit which involves tying the ends of the blouse underneath the bust. This beggars belief and looks more than faintly ridiculous. With a very short skirt, knee-high socks and white, cotton knickers, it risks ruining the rest of your schoolgirl look. These outfits are best left at the lapdancing club.

School blazerSchool blazerIf you’re attending a fetish party, you might want to consider a school blazer or a plain grey or navy blue cardigan for extra warmth.

Then we come to the tricky subject of hairstyles. For me, long hair is what it’s all about: there are good biological reasons why many men are attracted to women with long hair; most of us are unaware of it, but a good, healthy head of hair is a subliminal message that a woman is good breeding stock and is healthy.

Girl with ponytail
Keeping it neat

A schoolgirl’s hair must be neat and tidy though: at the very least, it needs to be up in a ponytail, the higher up the head the better because then it swishes delightfully from side to side when she walks.

If you put your hair into ponytails – in the UK we call them ‘bunches’ or ‘bangs’ – this will lend an added air of youthful innocence.

Hair in bunches

By far my favourite hairstyle – on the many occasions when my Kitten favours me with schoolgirl attire – is what Americans call ‘braids’ and what we call ‘plaits’. Again, two plaits will look better and more in keeping with schoolgirl style.

Hair in plaits
The ultimate, sexy but innocent hairstyle
Plaits
Two are definitely better than one

The only possible or permissible headgear should be a simple, straw boater. For this adult schoolgirl connoisseur, it is entirely an optional accessory and will soon come off anyway when she is bending over (as she inevitably will).Schoolgirl with straw boater

Nice to have but not essential

Finally, footwear: some sort of heel will certainly enhance backs of legs (especially calves) and encourage the bottom to stick out in the most inviting way. There are several Mary-Jane variations that seem to do an excellent job. With your adult schoolgirl wearing white socks – as previously specified – the front strap of the Mary-Janes will draw attention to the legwear.

Mary-JanesMary-JanesMary-JanesMary-JanesMary-JanesNow you’re all dressed up and you can either go to a party (remembering to wear a long, preferably ankle length coat), get ready for some D/s spanking fun in your playroom or bedroom at home, or just flit around the house, doing some chores and driving your Dom quietly mad until he gives up what he’s trying to do, bends you over and gives you the spanking that you no doubt thoroughly deserve.

That concludes my little schoolgirl spanking series – more of other fetishes in future blog posts. Now where did I put that hairbrush…?

Hairbrush
My favourite Mason & Pearson hairbrush

Disclaimer: please understand that I am in no way condoning or advocating sexual relations with anyone under the age of consent. For me, as for others in the scene, our play must be safe, sane and consensual. Anything else is abuse and should be rightly condemned as criminal.

Knickers – Getting to the Bottom of Things

A glimpse of white

I make absolutely no secret of my knicker fetish: since as long as I can remember, I’ve been trying to look up girls’ skirts to get a glimpse of what lies beneath.

How did this begin? Who can say for sure, but one episode from my childhood is still burnt into my kaleidoscope of sexual awakening: I was at a boarding school for disabled children. One of the young care staff – let’s call her, Jane – stepped over me as I was lying on the floor of our day room. She had on a psychedelic, flippy miniskirt it was the Sixties after all) but underneath that, she was completely naked! Not only that, she was completely shaved.

This is something that, to this day, I insist upon with anyone with whom I have sex (not just submissives). That beautiful expanse of puffy flesh, divided by that darling little crease, sets my pulse racing and my cock stiffening like nothing else. I love giving oral sex but I can only do so if I’m not having to fight with a tangled forest of odiferous pubic hair. Thankfully, fashion has caught up with my kink in this respect.

Having seen Jane in all of her smooth, naked glory, you would think that the sight or flash of a girl’s knickers would be a disappointment to me. Nothing could be further from the truth. A flash of white knickers is even more tantalising and that is why schoolgirls, of the adult variety and of the playmate tendency, must wear deliciously innocent white, cotton knickers.

I love flipping up her little skirt, when my Kitten is bent over or lying across my lap, and smoothing my hand over the swell of her bottom. I love the sight of the bare flesh and then the curve of the cotton fabric. I like to leave her knickers in place for the initial spanking and then either pull them down to upper or mid thigh or give her a nice, tight wedgie: this has the added advantage of stretching the fabric across her vulva and giving more than a hint of that secret little place after which so many of us spend so long questing, fantasising, masturbating.

The vulval groove

Thanks to my friend Molly, I now know not to call the delightful little crease in the centre of her knickers a ‘cameltoe’, since some women find the term offensive. I will, henceforth, describe this as a ‘vulvine groove’– for that, essentially, is what it is.

These aren’t regulation, Kitten!

I digress – back to the matter in hand. So our schoolgirl submissive must be attired in white, cotton knickers, the plainer and the more innocent-looking the better. Of course, we Doms can have a lot of fun with adding extra punishment for infractions of our rules on appropriate schoolgirl knickers:

These are not regulation, Missy!

The wearer is then subject to extra punishment, sometimes removal of said knickers (anything too brief or slutty, especially skimpy thongs), and these will often be balled and stuffed into the wearer’s mouth as an impromptu gag; not before giving them a really good sniff to check for arousal, which is almost inevitable and smells heavenly.

Sometimes, I instruct my Kitten to keep her knickers on throughout her punishment and even while bringing her to her first orgasm:

Cum in those beautiful knickers for Daddy, Kitten!

She will squirm and writhe as I apply toys through the fabric which will bring her to completion but with the added barrier of that thin layer of cotton which is moistening moment by moment.

A festoon of knickers

This is not to say that I only enjoy seeing white, cotton schoolgirl knickers: I love knickers of every shape and size, although I do draw the line at the Bridget Jones-style granny pants. Often, while shopping on Amazon, my eye will be distracted by some sexy knickers from Fruit of the Loom, Calvin Klein or Velvet Pussy. I will then wallow in my knicker fantasy for a good half an hour, adding item after item to my basket and showering my Kitten with more and more beautiful knickers to adorn her most secret and beautiful assets.

I haven’t ever counted how many pairs she owns but I’m sure we must be past two hundred pairs. I have told her that one day I want them all spread out on the bed so that we can roll around and play with each other, surrounded by those wonderful little bits of fabric after which I lust so much.

Since we are in a long-distance relationship (LDR) I keep a pair of her schoolgirl knickers in a Ziploc bag in my toy cupboard. When I miss her too badly, I open the bag and press the knickers to my face, inhaling deeply of her sweet, musky scent. I am in seventh heaven.

Pull Your Socks Up!

Today, I’ve been reflecting on the power – and I can honestly say it is that strong – of seeing a grown woman in kneelength white socks.

I got slightly distracted by Molly’s Daily Kiss and her exploration of white cotton knickers, or the lack thereof.

Before we even get that far, I need to ask why a half covered leg encased in white fabric has such a powerful allure?

Rather like the people who commented on Molly’s blogpost – many of whom alluded to the schoolgirl connection with white cotton knickers – the white sock is redolent of that minefield that lies between innocence and womanhood. The juxtaposition of a fully mature woman in an outfit that deliberately evokes youth, inexperience and innocence with a hint of sexual awakening and perhaps a desire to explore, is what is at the heart of our fetish for schoolgirl apparel.

Ankle socks, for me, simply won’t do. For a start, they look sloppy and unattractive. Thigh-high socks – though deliciously sexy – convey an impression of trying and little too hard to be sexually provocative. The kneelength sock strikes just the right balance.

This is the first in a series of posts exploring our fetish for schoolgirl attire, behaviour and indeed role-play.

In a future post I want to discuss skirt type and length, then underwear and perhaps other accessories and appropriate hairstyles.

It would be great to hear what others feel on this subject. Leave me a comment below and let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: please understand that I am in no way condoning or advocating sexual relations with anyone under the age of consent. For me, as for others in the scene, our play must be safe, sane and consensual. Anything else is abuse and should be rightly condemned as criminal.

BDSM & PMS

Today my Kitten was out of sorts: shivery, snappy, easily upset. I had had to pull her up a couple of times for practically throwing her extremely expensive smart phone down on the table.

Did she feel like playing?

She looked up at me from under her lashes and said shyly:

“To be honest, a spanking would probably do me good.”

Well say no more! Hang on though, doesn’t this call for more than usually sensitive handling? You bet.

Many female submissives process pain differently when they have PMS: often a moderate to severe spanking that they normally take in their stride will push them beyond their limits.

I told Kitten to dress in a white tutu with a minuscule white thong and white ‘fence net’ hold ups. She even put her hair up in a ballerina’s bun, rather than the usual ponytail or braids.

I made her pick out implements that she wanted to be spanked with: two leather and two wooden paddles.

I had her bend over the the end of the bed on tiptoes. As soon as I started her warm-up with the smaller leather paddle, I could tell that her pain thresholds had shifted. It meant that the other three implements – all of which were capable of inflicting severe chastisement – would have to be handled with care.

We agreed on twenty strokes with each implement, but I slackened the pace and let up considerably with the other three implements. On a normal day, she will probably have wondered what on earth was wrong. Today, she finished the spanking and wanted lots of hugs, kisses and reassurance – all of which she got in spades.

Our playtime afterwards was also markedly different: she tasted delicately citric – a sure sign of hormonal change. And her body seemed to hang on to orgasms and needed lots of coaxing to let them go.

Afterwards, she was happy and relaxed; happy that we had played and happy that her spanking had made her feel a little less out of sorts.

N.B. Please understand, dear reader that I am not setting myself up as an authority on women and PMS. I am merely relating what worked for us on a particular day and in the circumstances that I describe.

Nothing Short of Scandalous

So what do two people get up to in a secret mountain hideaway, when they are not actively involved in kinky fuckery?

I decided it was time that my Babygirl was introduced to what I consider to be the finest piece of prose the English language has to offer: I consider myself reasonably well read; this is not an accolade that I bestow lightly.

Perhaps it is partly thanks to my family links to Wales, that I find Dylan Thomas‘s Under Milkwood to be the head and shoulders winner in this category, which has some extremely stiff competition including the likes of Charles Dickens, Graham Greene, Margaret Atwood, Laurie Lee, Gore Vidal and Annie Proulx.

I have always found Thomas’s fine wordcraft, impish sense of humour and sexually charged wit to be exactly to my taste.

Under Milkwood was written as a radio play – a ‘play for voices’ as Thomas would have it – radio being the dominant medium back in 1953. The work has been likened to lifting the lid on a dolls house: it describes a day in the life of a small, Welsh fishing town and the goings on of its many eccentric characters.

And such goings on there are! Willy Nilly Postman and his wife, when not steaming open the town’s mail in order to spread gossip, are privately engaged in a spot of CP:

[He] Walks fourteen miles to deliver the post as he does every day of the night, and ratatats hard and sharp on Mrs Willy Nilly

‘Don’t spank me please, teacher,’ whimpers his wife at his side.

But every day of her married life she has been late for school.

Dai Bread the baker is in what we would now call a polyamorous relationship with Mrs Dai Bread One and Mrs Dai Bread Two, all of whom occupy the same bed.

The local strumpet, Polly Garter, sings to herself, as she scrubs the floor ready for the Mothers’ Union dance that evening (a gathering at which she would never be welcome) of her previous loves, Tom, Dick, and Harry. We learn that Tom was “strong as a bear and two yards long”, Dick was “big as a barrel and three feet thick”, and Harry was “six feet tall and sweet as a cherry”. I confess that it wasn’t until the second or third time of listening that I realised it was Tom, Dick and Harry’s vital appendages that she was eulogising.

Mrs Organ Morgan bewails her husband’s passion for his organ, but which organ?

It’s organ organ all the time with you…

Under Milkwood is as replete with requieted as unrequited love: the local haberdasher and the local sweet shop owner, whose businesses are at opposite ends of the town, write to each other of their undying love but nonetheless are never to be united.

The butcher’s daughter, Gossamer Beynon, is a vision of feminine ripeness:

The sun hums down through the cotton flowers of her dress, into the bell of her heart and buzzes in the honey there and couches and kisses, lazy loving and boozed in her red berried breast.

In spite of her overt respectability, she secretly yearns for Sinbad Sailors, her imagined, hircine lover:

She feels his goatbeard tickle her in the middle of the world like a tuft of wiry fire, and she turns, in a terror of delight, away from his whips and whiskery conflagration.

Sinbad laments Gossamer’s education and her superior standing in the microcosm of society reflected in the town. Social snobbery dictates that they will never consummate their passion.

And blind, old Captain Cat reminisces of his time at sea, the men he has lost and the women with whom he has caroused:

Rosie Probert, 33 Duck Lane. Come on up boys, I’m dead.

Even when unmasked as a serial teller of tall tales, the captain beseeches his long dead (and probably imagined) lover to,

Lie down, lie easy. Let me shipwreck in your thighs.

Life in Llareggub (write it backwards and you will see the author’s little joke) is not all romping and ploughing in the hay. The schoolmaster, Mr Pugh, dreams of doing in Mrs Pugh, locked as they are in poisonous matrimony:

Sly and silent, he foxes into his chemist’s den, and there, in a hiss and prussic circle of cauldrons and phials brimful with pox and the Black Death, cooks up a fricassée of deadly nightshade, nicotine, hot frog, cyanide and bat spit for his needling stalactite hag and bednag of a poker-backed nut-cracker wife.

Thomas died exceptionally young, on a trip to the United States. It would have been amazing had he lived to old age and allowed his style to develop even further. A lover of women he certainly was; unfortunately, also lover of whiskey, which helped him into an early grave at the age of only thirty-nine.

The point is, long before those of us living what we euphemistically call ‘alternative lifestyles’, Thomas was suggesting that such activities were commonplace, desirable and only to be condemned by the village gossips or bigoted preachers in the chapel, whose dominion in Wales stretched far and wide back then.

Not only is it a wonderful piece of writing, it is bold and adventurous and lit the path for those of us who rejoice in the pleasures of the flesh, whip and cane, to take up the baton in order to normalise our lifestyle for future generations.

The BBC has released a dramatised audio version of Under Milkwood in which the voice of Sir Richard Burton has been digitally remastered to appear alongside contemporary actors. If you do nothing else this month, give it a listen. Kinksters, you will not be disappointed!