It’s high summer, so once again i’m spending some quality time with my Kitten in the USA.
It has brought me to the realisation that I’ve neglected this blog really badly, since the estimable Michael Knight set it up for me. Why, because a pesky troll was buzzing around like a persistent fly. Now, truly swatted.
I’ve also had a major life event: my dear mum died on June 12, afed 98. Life will now take a different direction, and I intend to edit several hours of video I’d recorded with her. It will be a labour of love and a fitting tribute to her almost century here on Earth.
So life is being reset, rebooted, to borrow the language of IT geeks.
I intend to post here at least weekly, from now on, with my musings on the world of kinky-fuckery, the beauty of the female form, the odd video or book review. You get the idea.
For those who don’t know, Eroticon is the annual gathering of sex/BDSM/smut bloggers in London. It must be a harbinger of spring, because I can definitely feel the sap rising. Here, in no particular order, are my reflections on a fabulous Weekend.
1. The BDSM community is famously friendly to new faces: join your local beekeeping society or allotment association, and it may take you a while to break in to the cliques that have formed over many years. You may even be regarded with hostility for the first few decades of your membership! I’ve been to a number of BDSM play parties, fetish markets and so on, so I’m already used to the idea that BDSM folk are welcoming, inclusive and excepting of difference. It sort of goes with the territory, if you don’t accept difference you’ve definitely signed up for the wrong event. But even with that caveat, Eroticon was especially friendly, incredibly warm and über welcoming. Yes, this was our first year and it certainly won’t be the last.
2. The amazing diversity that exists within our community was there for everyone to see. Hairstyles, outfits, gender-neutral toilet facilities including an accessible one, (don’t forget to bring your RADAR key).
3. Why do we all come together under one umbrella – largely because sections of society apply adjectives like ‘sick‘, ‘perverted‘ and ‘freaky‘ to our chosen lifestyle. And these are not the urban dictionary definitions: no, this is tabloid journalism at its most destructive and most bigoted. Sure, there is safety in numbers, but there is also reassurance – even though your kink may not be my kink – in being among people who you know are not going to judge. One of my friends, the redoubtable Kayla Lords, tweeted that it was lovely to be able to open your phone and not have to worry who is looking over your shoulder!
4. BDSM bloggers make brilliant drinking chums: there was certainly ample time and space (thanks to the Camden Holiday Inn), for people to unwind, get to know each other and share tips tricks and ideas. We had been warned though – it was not a play party and there was CCTV everywhere. We like the hotel so we had to be sensible.
5. Michael and Molly, the powerhouse behind Eroticon, had managed to pull in some fabulous sponsors, and those sponsors had fabulous merch they wanted us all to try and buy. A huge thank you to them all, and as I write, our ElectraStim is charging – later on could get very interesting!
6. Eroticon doesn’t seem to come with ‘conference fatigue’: as a veteran attendee and some time organiser of numerous conferences and events, by the final hours of the final day, I’m normally looking forward to getting home and returning to some sort of normality. With Eroticon, the opposite was the case: I could have done several more days. Always leave them wanting more – that way they’ll be back next year…
7. Don’t be an idiot – like me – and assume that just because you live in the London area, you don’t need to stay in the hotel. You do! Travelling backwards and forwards added needless hours to each day – hours that could’ve been spent chatting, networking, playing, blogging.
8. Eroticon is hungry and thirsty work: fortunately, the wonderful Arlington Conference Centre kept us stocked up with tea, coffee, biscuits and water as well as sandwiches and fruit for lunch. What’s more, Camden is a bit of a foodie paradise: we discovered the wonderful Jamón Jamón which does scrummy tapas – great for sharing.
9. For someone with prosopagnosia, as well as severely impaired vision, meeting so many new people all at once can be a bit daunting: prosopagnosia is face blindness, which means that even familiar people will be unfamiliar until you’ve set them in context or can remember their voice. Eroticon has the added complication that people are known by a name (it may not be their real name) a Twitter handle and perhaps a separate blogger name. So, by the time you’ve got your head around those three identities, met six more people and had a gin and tonic, you’ve probably forgotten who the lovely person with a cute kitten years was. Actually, It was Amy, @CoffeeAndKink. See? At least I remembered one person who was new to me! It probably was those kitten ears 🐱.
10. Be careful who you snap with your smartphone: given the aforementioned bigotry and underlying hostility towards folk in the BDSM world, some people are very understandably protective of their identity. No problem, those who didn’t mind being photographed wore a black lanyard and those who absolutely didn’t want to appear on social media in person wore a red one. It’s very important – depending on your profession. – that your true identity is concealed. Some people have even been ‘outed‘ by trolls with nothing better to do with their time. If for example you’re a primary school teacher who also enjoys being put into bondage and spanked in your spare time, it’s not something that overprotective parents should get to know about because they would draw all of the wrong conclusions. And for anybody reading who isn’t already familiar, ‘safe, sane and consensual’ are our bywords: BDSM has absolutely nothing to do with paedophilia.
And finally, a huge shout out to the sponsors and organisers who made Eroticon such a fabulous place to be: step forward
Helping my Kitten to choose a new car to replace the one that was totalled on New Year’s Day. We are both okay, it was just the car 🚘
2. If you could make your own porn movie, what would you call it? Would you write it, direct and/or star in the movie?
It would be called Sugar & Spice – and it would be me spanking and figging (inserting a butt plug made of ginger) a whole bunch of girls. They could be dressed in ultra girly outfits, including frilly knickers and very short skirts. I would of course direct it and star in it as the male Top 👠
3. What do you like the least about sex?
When it’s over – and the fact that as you get older, as a guy, you want more but can manage less ☹️
4. So, now what are you planning to do?
In the short-term future, I have an assignment to write for my Open University course. Longer-term I want to take care of my Kitten in a 24/7 D/s love nest 💕❣️🐱
5. If you were a box of cereal, what would you be and why?
I can’t bear breakfast cereals – they fill you up and then you’re hungry two hours later. I don’t want to be a breakfast cereal, I would rather be somebody’s breakfast sausage 🍳
Bonus: If you could shrink down to ant-sized, what would you do?
Crawl up the skirt of a pretty girl and stay there, occasionally nipping and licking at her thighs, bum cheeks and her perfectly shaven pussy 🐱
The puffy, ultra-short skirt, held outwards by a stiff, frilly underskirt. The sound of heels on the wooden staircase. The demure expression on her face, determined not to trip and spill the precious cargo.
The warm spice and soft pastry, soaking up the cream. Sugarless tea to offset the intense sweetness.
The criss-cross of the fishnets that hug her thighs and calves.
Her round globes thrust out, awaiting the kiss of crop, flogger and paddles. Her head hung low, fighting the vertigo of looking down from the upstairs gallery.
Knickers, crisp, white and taut against her smooth pudenda.
The blush of her rosy cheeks, warm and ripe from their spanking. The sudden rush and whoosh of orgasms so intense that the linen bears the marks of gush, blood, even pee.
I revel in such memories because we won’t be able to make new ones for a couple of months and more. And I rejoice in the sure and certain knowledge that she’s mine.
What is it about the French maid‘s uniform that has so many of us Tops or Doms reaching for our crops or paddles?
Is it the bell-shaped, prematurely attenuated skirt that skims the thighs and usually the stocking tops? Oh yes, definitely stockings, there will be extra punishment if the wearer has decided to put on pantyhose or tights.
Is it the fact that the underskirt or petticoat forces the skirt to reveal the upper thighs and lower slopes of the bottom cheeks of the wearer? Or is it indeed that postage stamp-sized little apron that is usually positioned so that it covers the wearer’s pudenda?
Is it the possibility of upskirt voyeurism when the maid is on a stepladder, dusting books from the higher shelves?
Is it the generously cleavage-exposing décolletage of the bodice?
If there is a headpiece, does this add to the caricature of the domestic servant of yore presented by this ensemble?
Perhaps it is that there is an immediate assumption of a master or mistress/servant relationship? This is something that implicitly suggests a power exchange, the possibility of needing to correct inappropriate behaviour, which can be attended to simply by having one‘s charge bend forward over a banister, the arm of the sofa or across the knee.
My kitten and I were fortunate enough to be staying on a charming little hotel in the Canary Islands whose waitresses all wore a slightly more conservative version of this outfit. Every time we were served in the dining room or on the terrace, my pulse would race; I would ask the feline one if she could borrow one of these uniforms for a play session in our tastefully appointed suite. No, she couldn’t, she protested: and so my mind turned to having both her and one of the ‘real’ maids bend over the antique dining table in our suite so that I could discipline them both.
There are some other details of the attire that need to be carefully noted: the maid must have her hair up at all times – this not only renders her more attractive, by exposing the nape of her neck, it is a practical, hygiene consideration. She must wear a pair of killer heels so that she totters from one table to another or up and down the stairs.
Stockings – either the traditional variety or hold-ups – are another essential item of apparel. Sheer black will do very nicely but fishnets complement the outfit best.
Your maid must adopt a subservient, eyes downcast demeanour at all times. No request, however unreasonable, should be refused and close attention must be paid to her department. She is wearing that get-up for a reason – the sooner her master finds fault, the sooner the fun can begin.
Unless previously negotiated, knickers are absolutely essential: they must be impractical, lacy, and ridiculously small. If they are tight enough, they will enhance very nicely the pudenda (shaved obviously) of your employee.
Since you have your very own maid on hand, I recommend starting a scene with her serving some sort of light snack and a drink. She will thus be obliged to totter around on her heels while carrying a tray.
How long her knickers stay on is a matter for you and your maid: you can at least begin her punishment with knickers in place and then remove them, or lower them first, as part of the humiliation involved in corporal punishment.
I can’t conceive of a session like this that doesn’t result in some vigorous, sexual activity: now minus her knickers, your maid is readily available; simply by bending her forward you have access to her nether regions. On her knees, she presents a delightful spectacle, ponytail bobbing, as she ministers to your desire for fellatio.
Have her wear her outfit often – And punish her frequently for any misdemeanours, real or imagined.
For me it’s all about quality: you take your time, you have an original, customised play session and you feel wonderfully satisfied at the end. Or, you go to some horrendous chain restaurant, eat food that has been prepared neither with love nor knowledge and you leave there feeling full but lacking that deep satisfaction that only comes from a meal or a play session where someone has literally put their heart and soul into giving you a good time. Fast food chains are the worst – the culinary equivalent of a $50 hand job in a backstreet massage parlour.
1. Do you like tattoos?
I love tattoos – and I love tasteful tattoos on women. I don’t like them to cover too much skin (that’s a personal preference) and having someone’s name tattooed is just asking for trouble, unless it’s the name of your kids or someone else who is not going to disappear from your life or embarrass you in ten years’ time.
Tattoos have to be meaningful, tasteful and above all they should intrigue.
Do you have any tattoos?
I have just one on my upper arm – it’s a thundercloud with a bolt of lightning. I’m absolutely passionate about thunderstorms and I’m also a fairly tempestuous character, so it seems appropriate. I’m planning a couple more in the near future… Watch this space.
2. How did you pick your online profile name?
I am a massive francophile and I speak French fluently. My name means ‘master’ in French. I’m always amused when people ask me my gender – I would’ve thought that was obvious.
3. What’s one saying you try to live by?
Never give up – from the smallest to the biggest task, take the bull by the horns and get on in there. Nobody likes a quitter.
4. What was the last bad meal you ate?
That’s easy: I was in the USA with my Kitten and we went to a chain restaurant where I had some pasta with marinara sauce and grilled scallops. As I put in my TripAdvisor review, I didn’t think the ingredients had been introduced to each other before being slopped onto my plate. The pasta was overcooked, the sauce was straight out of a jar and the scallops had very little flavour (almost certainly frozen). From then on I tried to avoid the chain restaurants in favour of establishments where people source locally, cook every day from scratch and have a really good rapport with the clients.
Why was it so awful?
Because from the person who cooked it to the person who put it in front of me, nobody really gave a shit. Sure, the waitress was friendly and working for her tip, but nobody cared or even knew that it was bad food.
5. When was your last bad sexual encounter? Why was it so awful?
It was probably a decade ago: I had divorced my second wife, was in a bad place emotionally and decided that I didn’t want the emotional pressure of a relationship. So I had a number of encounters with sex workers: most of the women were lovely, and I formed lasting friendships with some of them. Others clearly hated what they were doing and made the whole experience really unpleasant.
Bonus: tell us something random.
I once appeared naked on prime-time British television – my mother wasn’t impressed!
Having roundly dissed the CP spanking erotica of yore, it’s now time to celebrate one of the current crop of innovative and ambitious producers of the genre – Sarah Gregory.
Of course all cinema and theatre involves a certain suspension of disbelief, but you can’t help remembering, when watching a naughty ‘schoolgirl’ being disciplined by a strict teacher, that it’s really an anonymous office somewhere and that there are probably only half a dozen people in the building, including the production crew. Yes, it’s supposed to be a school – but do you think we’ve got the budget for all of those actors?
Well, sometimes people do have significant budgets which they’re not afraid to spend.
In the past, I’ve seen some fabulous feature length spanking movies from Real Spankings. ‘Road Trip’ and ‘Maid for Punishment’ were particular favourites of mine.
They broke out of the 10, 20 or 30 minute cell and really let the plot and action develop. Multiple players, multiple spankings, multiple and myriad fun and games.
Such undertakings are obviously incredibly costly, consume vast resources and need to be able to pay their way once uploaded to the producer’s website.
It rather explains why there is so little of this quality and length of material around.
Nonetheless, some people are prepared to take the risk or have extremely wealthy backers who don’t mind funding such a huge undertaking.
Sarah has developed her Strictmoor Academy movies – which frankly deserve their own slot on Netflix.
These are period movies (late fifties/early sixties) set in a New England educational institution for young ladies (19 and older) whose parents think they are too wayward and want their behaviour corrected.
All of the movies are available on Sarah’s site but they also have their own Strictmoor Academy home, to save you rifling through all of the clips uploaded to the main SGS website.
The setting looks authentic – I assume a Victorian or Edwardian house somewhere in the north eastern United States.
The girls – and there are usually a good half a dozen or more – are the cream of the crop (pun intended), and the mature female Dommes (teachers and house mothers) play their parts to perfection. Everyone is ‘in character’and everyone is 100% credible.
Uniforms are exactly that – every girl is dressed in identical kit, right down to their socks and knickers. So many low-budget spanking films that involve more than one ‘schoolgirl’ suffer from having the girls turn up with slightly different uniforms.
Here the young ladies are contrite, deferential and resigned to their fate – they know the knickers will come down and their bottoms will be on display while they are soundly spanked, slippered and paddled.
I confess, I haven’t seen every minute of every movie, but I don’t believe I have yet seen anyone being caned. Maybe that’s for a future production?
The girls are usually disciplined in the classroom (in front of each other of course), in the office of one of the staff and at bedtime – because a spanking during the day means another spanking at bedtime.
This means we have multiple opportunities to see the girls baring their bottoms or showing their knickers, kicking their legs frantically as their creamy behinds turn from pale pink to deep crimson.
As an aside, I think there is a slight cultural difference between the UK and the US when it comes to spanking. American girls seem to let rip with their protests from the get go; I have the impression that British girls will try to maintain a certain stiff upper lip until the pain and humiliation get the better of them, and they, too, end up wailing and blubbering.
The Strictmoor films seem to place as much emphasis on spanking thighs as bottoms: a thigh spanking will be given separately, for example while the girl is being made to read aloud a poem from the board that she should have memorised.
I’ve never tried to consume a Strictmoor film from beginning to end as a complete whole. I suspect that if I did it would appear to be more episodic than continuous. Each scene is released separately on SGS – so perhaps Sarah intends for her viewers to consume these cinematic gems in smaller chunks.
Unlike the RS feature length films, I’m not sure there’s quite enough plot to stitch these episodes together. However, this is a minor criticism when set against the sheer scale of what Sarah has managed to pull off with her Strictmoor franchise.
For a future movie – and again I’m being super picky – I might be tempted to vary the punishment from one girl to the next – more reacting to how they are taking their punishment rather than insisting that each girl gets exactly the same. This, after all, mirrors real life: some schoolgirls are more bratty than others; some take the punishment quietly while others curse like troopers.
I would also love to see some mildly sexual humiliation: perhaps some rectal thermometer readings, some compulsory shaving of pudendae and so on.
Maybe some of the girls comforting each other ‘after lights out’ following a particularly hard day’s punishment?
Of course they would get caught, and of course, there would be consequences.
Strictmoor movies are exquisitely authentic, extremely well acted and obviously very meticulously thought through. I suspect that as Sarah and her fiancé develop this project, it will only get better.
Back in the bad old days of CP movies – and I still remember visiting shops in Soho, London and buying a really bad copy of a ten minute movie on VHS for the princely sum of £50 – it was all very formulaic.
A young female, dressed in school uniform (although the skirt was always ridiculously and appealingly short), would enter a spartan room and wait nervously. An older adult, usually male, would then enter and admonish her for some minor infraction of the school rules. She would then go over his knee or over the desk and be spanked over her minuscule skirt.
After a while, said skirt would get lifted (to howls of protest) and she would be spanked over her school knickers, although there was a possible variation at this point when the knickers were declared “not regulation” and some extra swats would be added.
Eventually the knickers would come down (usually just the top of the thighs) and she would be spanked and then strapped, paddled or caned ‘on the bare’.
The tearful miscreant would then be dispatched to the corner – skirt up, knickers down – to contemplate her misdemeanours while the camera would zoom in on her blushing posterior, sometimes with a cutaway to her tearful face.
End of movie.
There was always the added excitement of having to wait hours for a clip to download over a dial-up connection and the low resolution image that would flicker across one’s screen; this added to the overall clandestine and illicit nature of indulging one’s kink.
Some producers (and I will refrain from naming names to protect the guilty) would even run the footage from the second camera in a pathetic attempt to lengthen the movie and have you believe that this was an entirely new set of swats. You knew it was the second camera because the white balance was completely different from camera one.
The technical quality was usually beyond the control of the production house, but the lack of creativity certainly was not. It was shockingly bad – and showed nothing but contempt for the audience.
Now, I know there were studios that were producing better material than this – Real Spankings and Strictly English for example – but your run-of-the-mill spanking movie generally had all the charm of a wet November afternoon.
Thankfully, eventually, the sun came out: not only was HD video out there as the default standard (1080p and them 4K) but connection speeds got faster and faster meaning that streaming video became the norm.
At the same time trailblazing producers – and here the lovely Pandora / Blake springs to mind – were reinventing the genre. Feminist porn, high production values, movies with an actual plot or a proper theme, models who obviously engaged and were excited by the reinvention of spanking erotica.
Social media made it easier to engage directly with performers and producers, give them feedback on their excellent work and find out which spanking conventions they would be attending.
I was particularly impressed with Alex Reynolds – not just her amazing, curvy body but also her clever, edgy writing and her obvious enjoyment of the scene.
A couple of years back we even had a play date on one of her trips to the UK. Suffice it to say, I wasn’t disappointed!
This post set out to be a review of a particular set of films about Strictmoor Academy – very authentic, period drama-type films that feature multiple actors in an authentic, academic institutional environment in new England in the late 1950s/early 60s. However, the preamble has gone on for so long that this post will have to stand as it is.
In my next post, I will describe the delights of Strictmoor, and congratulate the production team on a job extremely well done.
Naturally, they get a little cross when people steal their material – having spent countless hours and dollars bringing it to fruition.
There really is no excuse for stealing porn – most of us can afford the modest sums asked to subscribe to various websites. And if you, like me, value the quality of CP erotica, you must realise that you can’t get something for nothing.
One thing that still does irk me a little though is when production houses try to strand their content into various themes (schoolgirl, cheerleader, girl next door and so on) in order to make you subscribe to individual streams; i’d much rather be asked for more money to have access to everything they produce.
That’s one hangover from the bad old days that should be buried with the uninspiring, formulaic old movies.